This isn’t one of the fun posts on my Blog. Not an easy subject to bring up. This morning I heard the news that the only son of friends took his life. What a great kid and now he is gone. I never would have believed it. Even now, this morning I am struggling to accept he is gone. The Holiday Season can be painful for many. For the lonely, heart broken, those suffering from sickness or financial struggles the Holidays can be particularly difficult. If you are suffering please know that you are precious to many. You would be missed if you were suddenly not here. We pass through difficult times, often bruised and beat up, but stronger in the end if we endure. Love is found again and the sunshine warms us after the storms life inevitably brings. If you are struggling reach out to someone. Let’s have a talk. We love you. We care about you. We need you in our lives. For the rest of us, slow down during this season and be aware of those that may be lonely, out of work, sick or for any other reason you feel prompted to reach out to. We just never know who might be struggling. Some times the greatest gift that can be given is a moment of your time.

2 thoughts on “Suicide

  1. First of all, let me echo all that Angie has posted. She is spot on. This news has led me to a morning of pondering and thought. It is never really fun and often brings up painful memories or thoughts when we talk about suicide. Many of us have been impacted one way or another by it. I hope not to offend any by my thoughts, but I feel I should share. If many take offense yet one person helped.. so be it.

    Suicide has many causes but all rooted in a loss of hope. I know I have heard many times that it is hard to understand how they feel this way… we all love them… they have so many friends… many such things. Let me tell you a secret. Reality to you is not reality to me. Our own reality is made up of a combination of the things we see and hear around us as it is processed in our own individual brains. When a person’s individual reality is taking a trip into the dark trails of depression, things are truly NOT the same for them as for you. Have you ever been on a tour in a cave when you are deep inside and they turn off all the lights? You cannot see anything. You may have a friend an arms reach away, but you cannot see them. This is how it can be… lost in the depths of some pit constructed by the mind… the way out is not clear, it is dark, no friends to be seen. Would we like them to keep reaching out until they find a friend? Yes of course, but why would they? In their reality.. there is no one to reach out too and the thoughts can be… why would I reach out to where I know no one is.. and feel even worse? I challenge you to take a few moments today and look around at the people you interact with… at home, work, school, in the neighborhood. Odds are that one set of eyes you look into are wandering in the dark in some degree or another. If you have never faced this trial…. be grateful. If you have, you know what I mean. So what do we do? Be a light! Literally… go on a freaking search party and shine a light into the darkness. WE have to be the ones to make a change. When a light appears to someone in the dark… they will see, they may reach out, but probably not. We may need to reach in and be more direct. Remember… we are all in our own realities and in their reality, the loss of hope is hurting their ability to help themselves. Do not let fear of action keep you from moving. There is one thing for sure that will break that fear, loosing someone you love.

    A number of years ago, I made the mistake of thinking, man.. I am a great parent. I have this down. Then I had a child attempt suicide. It rocked me. I do not know why I am so lucky that it failed, but I know that I am lucky. It is a great lie in life to believe that we know it all. That we have learned what we need to learn. There is a common occurrence as we become adults that we build this shell of what we know and we believe it is all true and good. Well, this life is not about knowing, this life is about growing. And a shell will just constrain you from this. When we realize we do not know much, we begin to learn anew. I learned that I could be a much better parent. How? By being in my children’s lives. I listen to their music and we talk about it… not in a fake way. Kids are Natural Born BS detectors. I listen to music they listen to on my own, and then we sing it loud together. My shell was the music I grew up with. I have grown. I dance with a daughter because she loves dancing. Am i good at dancing? Not really, but I love her and I dance with her.. at home… in a grocery store… at church… It doesn’t matter who is watching. Break the shell. If a child likes to play pokemon, I play with him. I walk with him, talk with him, be excited with him. If you suck at a video game and your fingers don’t work… practice, grow and beat that kid!

    Now there are many around us that, as Angie said, that may be lonely or need someone that we are not that close too as a family member. Please, when your heart tells you to smile at someone and say Hi, do it. Be nice to people, talk with your cashier in the line and brighten their day. You never know when you can be that one light someone in a dark cave has been searching for. Your kind words or actions can help them take steps in the right direction… find their path.

    We all want to feel like victims of suicide.. and we all are. The one that leaves, the family, the friends, even the ones that were acquaintances but not really nice, we are all affected by it. To counter that, we are all to blame. All of us. I do not say it to be mean, I just believe it is true. It is not enough to say, I wish I would have known. Looking back at my son years ago, there were plenty of things I could have done different. I thought giving him space as a moody teenager was good, but really I was just giving into the easy path.

    I do not know much, but I am trying to learn. I know that we are all a family. Sometimes we do not get along, and there is always that weird cousin or whatever, but despite all our differences, we are all pretty much the same. If we keep that in mind, and we show kindness and empathy to all around. I know we can make a difference to someone today.

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