CaptiveĀ 

Okay okay I have calmed down.  The Doctor and I had an argument.  I feel I am ready to go home he doesn’t agree.  I mean I was nice just had a slightly elevated voice.  I could tell he was getting a little flustered and thought lets tone it down so I offered him a hug and we agreed, one more night.  I told him to heal me because I had church on Sunday.  I have this one nurse.  She is really cool and we have agreed to be friends.  She isn’t in as much of a hurry as the others.  I was glad to see her again today as she will stick around and chat.  It is dreadfully boring here so I like having a friend.  I have started to plot my escape if the doctor doesn’t agree to release me.  I even offered her money to help.  She politely declined and said she was confident I would be better as I had already improved drastically.  So I think I’m going home tomorrow without a fuss.  I have things to do and people to see.  I’m about to take a shower and my visiting teachers are coming soon.  I had jello today and plan on some more.  It has been a day.  I’m hungry.  

Anxious

not sure why but I feel really anxious today.  It has been a fun week with the kids out of school with Spring Break.  I have had several days off and slept in and stayed up late.  Sex almost every day.  I should just be like totally chill and calm.  It’s weird how anxiety hits us.  I don’t know if the ending of Spring Break looming is causing it or that next week may be demanding or that opening my email is stressing me out.  Maybe I should just open my email and spend two hours, knock it out, and be done with it.  Then enjoy my last two days.  Anxiety is definitely a real thing for me some days.   I will be fine and then one day….Boom!  I’ll probably hit essential oils tonight and see if I can knock it out.  Help!  I feel like I’m locked in a room closing in on me.  I know it’s not but the air feels thin.  Maybe I should go running.  Endorphins usually help.  Maybe a snack that I love.  I can’t read because I can’t focus.  A movie could work.  But will I be able to enjoy it?  No I can’t stop thinking of the looming week ahead.  Why is this bothering me?  I can take Monday off to.  I could make it a light day.  I can say no to whatever I want.  Why do I feel trapped?  It makes no sense to me.  Why?  Your smarter than anxiety.  Outwit it.  Your are fine, just ignore it.  Please go away I don’t want you here in my happy place.  This is my life, your not welcome here.  Why do you violate my joy?  Leave me alone!  Anxiety I love myself more.  I will be okay tomorrow.  Everyone has a rough day it’s ok.  Your human.  Don’t tell me it’s ok you don’t understand.  Just a day, it’s almost over.  One day does not ruin a great week.  One hour doesn’t ruin a day.  Lunch was awesome today.  Happy thoughts.  I have sex, food, running, my favorite pillow, and jello.  

Jello

i have always liked jello.  But lately since being really sick back at Christmas my love for jello has like gone way up. 

I have been experimenting.  

A few recipes that I would highly recommend include cherry and get some green grapes and cut them up.  Spread them around, let the jello set, and wa-la you have a delicious treat with not just cherry flavor but a burst of grape that will make your tastebuds quiver in orgasmic delight.  Another I have enjoyed is lime green jello with slices of banana in it.  I love bananas and I love green jello and they are the perfect complimentary tastes for not just me but the whole family.  Now I digress here but I must warn you vegetables and jello do not mix.  I will admit I have heard shaved carrots slices are good to add and we did try it.  No we will never do that again and have set up a rule in our house.  No vegetables in the jello.  I have tried cool whip mixed in as well and that adds some fun and yum to your colored creation.  We call it marbled jello.  I did yellow lemon jello yesterday and we put kiwi in it.  That was pretty awesome as well.  We are going to try oranges cut up in green lime jello and I want to try pineapple just not sure which flavor would be the best.  I also like just plain jello to but I have always been big on taste.  I love the sensation of smell and taste and touch and sight and what I hear.  I think anything that heightens any of the senses just is incredible.  Maybe that’s why I love orgasms and sex so much.  Because it so completely involves the senses.  I think things that tend to take your senses to the edge of what your accustomed to is the real adventure in life.  Maybe that’s why I tend to be pretty happy and adventurous is i experiment in life.  I don’t know for sure but I do know I have found some things I definitely do not like such as anal sex, carrots in my jello, and Spanish Fork, Utah to name a few.  But I have found a few things I love like pussy, grapes in my jello, sky diving, and sex toys that are so fun.  Can you imagine going through life without those things!  (I do like cock to)  so don’t worry guys!  šŸ™‚  So anyway I would say live life and try something new.  I’ll let you know how the pineapple works out for me.  xoxo