Mother’s Day 2017

I have been blessed to be a Mother.  I think we all find our way in time.  I love my children.  They are four unique and wonderful gifts.  One has now been out 6 months on his mission.  I miss him so very, very much.  I am literally counting the hours until his call tomorrow.  I just hope that he calls earlier than later like at Christmas.  That was so hard waiting!  My daughter has her first Prom tonight and Summer is almost here bringing another season of fun, sun and exploration.  To all of the Mothers out there.  Remember you are good enough.  Trying from a mother is like the definition of a miracle.  We get it done every day by showing up.  Have a great day!  

Yes

Have you ever caught yourself always telling your kids no?  I think it can become an automatic response if we aren’t careful.  Our kids are constantly asking for things and to do things.  We almost become conditioned.  Is no a response anyone likes?  Absolutely not. Kids and even adults can become very good at circumventing a no, even to the point of lying and deceit.  There are times that no is the appropriate response, but I am learning that it tends to be better received when there is trust between you as a parent and your child. Unfortunately this trust is difficult to have if we always say no.  A few tricks I have learned is if it doesn’t really matter and you don’t have a reason to say no….say yes.  Yes brings happiness for sure.  Sometimes it may be giving them a choice.  What a great way to build good decision making skills by making choices.  For example, if they want to have treats at a movie say we can do that or we can go for treats after at Cold Stone.  Makimg good decisions is a habit and good habits like most things are developed by practice.  A third option is to let them buy in.  The way I do this is they ask to go to the movies.  Okay I have no reason to say no but I need something done.  My response is yes but first I need you to take the dog for a walk or can you do the dishes first?  They have a choice, if the refuse they are saying no to themselves.  This is a great choice as well as you get some help around the house and they learn sometimes there is a cost to things.  I love to say yes as much as possible.  I also have picked up a little trick to hold myself to a higher standard as Mom.  If I say no I try to offer up a reason.  Often it leads to a great discussion.  I believe kids learn more and are more accepting of the occasional no, especially accompanied by a valid reason vs because or I said so.  Our kids are learning at light speed.  Don’t cut corners on the absolute greatest investment in our lives.  ❤️

Home Sweet Home

Long trip back.  Arrived in SLC, then drove home to Idaho Falls.  That extra 4 hours was a killer.  The inlaws who have been watching our kids and fur babies knew we were coming in very late, so they just let us slip in quietly so not to wake the kids.  We succeeded to but not with the cat and dog.  They heard us and there was quite the celebration with the dog that ensued.  He cried and wagged his tail and butt so hard.  He wanted me to hold him, then Keith, then he was like never mind and came back to give me more loves.  It took him like 15 minutes to settle down.  It’s nice to be loved ❤️.  The cat made an appearance and tried as usual to be cool.  Kinda gave us the look and the little nod of “sup?”  That is what he does.  Then he hopped up on the bed and waited for the dog’s embarrassing display of excitement to wane.  I got ready for bed pretty fast.  I could barely keep my eyes open.  Climbed in bed and the cat curled up and went purr mode.  I fell asleep.  I love my cat!  This morning I was up at 6:30 with Grandma making a breakfast feast.  Keith went to wake the kids a little after 7 and after they realized it was their Dad they were up and we got round 2 of epic welcome homes and our 18 year olds version of I’m too cool to be excited so here is your nod and “sup?”  It’s true, he is just like the cat!  So we are reunited and happy.  Souvenirs have been passed out the rest should be here by mail.  My dolphin 🐬 magnet is on my fridge.  This morning…the world is perfect.  

This Moment 

Right now at this moment I’m feeling anxious.  Extremely anxious.  Something happened this morning that could have been much worse.  My kids are safe and enough time has passed since this morning that I realize how lucky those two were.  I think when the anger, shock, surprise wears down and calm returns it will be ok.  Right now it’s like OMG.  I don’t understand why but this whole thing triggered this.  It feels opposite of what I should be feeling.  Even though I’m feeling grateful and blessed the darkness has been chasing me all day.  I have tried to sit down and watch a show on TV and I couldn’t focus.  Tried reading the scriptures and I couldn’t focus.  I don’t even think right now I could make myself have an orgasm.  Didn’t even realize I hadn’t eaten anything all day.  I started a diffuser with some doTERRA essential oils and I think I’m going to go for a run after I eat something.  I don’t want to surrender to this.  I have found myself starting to cry a few times today and I don’t know if they are tears of joy or sadness.  The darkness creates confusion.  I’ll escape it, too many things to not be anxious about.  Maybe just putting it out to the Universe that I want help may be enough.  Maybe 10 miles of running will do it tonight.  Running is a quasi focus type of activity.  Focus and escape at the same time.  I think I need some frankincense along with the other essential oils.  The console is calming.  Can you even be calm when your kids almost died?  Maybe it’s ok to freak out.  I am thinking that trying to be calm is suffocating me.  I really need to eat something before dinner, I don’t think I can wait.  I have oranges, they look good.  I am very grateful.  They are good.  Eff the darkness I’m going to be fine.  

Crazy Busy Times

I really enjoy writing and sharing some of my life and interests and on occasion experiences with you. You have no idea how appreciative i am that so many of you have taken an interest in my blog and in me. It is humbling that you would check in and read my posts and that you enjoy what I share. I do my best to be consistent in making regular posts. This year so far has been a real challenging time. Not making an excuse, just hope to explain why I have sucked a bit lately at the consistency thing. I got really sick over the Christmas break with Pnemonia and ended up in the hospital, then a few weeks later ended up down a few days again with a bad cold. I never, I mean never, get sick. This year I have gone 3 rounds with sickness. A brutal winter, despite as mild as it’s been.  I also was asked to be the 1st Counselor in Young Women’s in our ward. It has been such a fun calling but for those of you in the church that have served, you know how time consuming it is. Lots of fun and I love it, but a bit overwhelming as I am learning. The kids have been so busy with lacrosse, basketball, dance, choir concerts, plays, and other school activities. Keith and I often divide and conquer because no matter how good you are you cannot be in 4 places at once. PTA has two major events left, then that will be over. Sundance and other events for work is also always demanding and I need to learn to say no or Keith has volunteered to do it for me. Sundance was really busy this year. Fun but a huge demand of time. Way more than I was paid, so need to rethink that one lol. So for those that have messaged me and asked if I’m still alive or if I’m alright, the answer is yes. Life is full of adventure with 4 kids, a husband and friends. I would have it no other way though. The irony of life is often our decisions in how we spend our time becomes less of a choice between good and bad but the constant choice between so many good things. It becomes turning a good thing down for the best thing. Priorities really have to be the compass of our life. I do enjoy chat and my blog so with a more full schedule I am finding a need to schedule it in. Less time to plan on the fly. So I am not the fly girl social butterfly I thought I was :). Love to you all, thank you for being my friend in however it is in our strange little world.